Dearly Beloved

I recently discovered that I love rum.

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 22:47:36 -0400

I Made it Out For You, Tell Me We're Meant to Be || Salger

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 18:19:27 -0400

Sally faded in and out of consciousness waiting for Roger to come. She wondered in the back of her mind how long she’d been in the hospital itself. Judging by the amount of work they’d already done on her, she guessed a few days. The doctor gave her more morphine for the pain, which never seemed to really go away. For a while she worried about how she looked, with Roger coming to visit. But that thought soon passed, as she realized there really wasn’t anything she could do about it. Before too long the doctor came to check on her heart, and the damage she had internally and she squeezed the sheets tightly as he pressed on her stomach and then gently moved around her ribs. The pain almost caused her to black-out again— almost, but not quite. “Sir you can’t have that dog in here.” She faintly heard down the hallway a bit, and she knew it was Roger. Eisenhower and Roger. Her two favorite beings in this world. When Roger came into view, all was right, she could even forget about the pain for a moment. “Hey.” She breathed weakly, moving her hand to grip his gently. Before she could even be warned of the in coming wave of emotion, hot tears leaked down her cheek. “I’m sorry.” She told him through the pain. “I’m sorry. I fought to stay…for you…” The last two words were soft, probably inaudible to anyone besides him.

The doctor came back again, chart in hands. “You must be Roger.” He smiled as he flipped through the chart. “Well Sally, your heart is doing well. There’s not much more we can do now but let you rest.” That was good news right? She was healing, getting stronger. “Can I go home soon then?” She breathed, hopeful to say the least. “Well. I would prefer you stay but, if you have someone to take care of you, make sure you don’t rip any stitches, or any of that, then yes, you can. But you’d have to be mostly on bed rest, besides getting up to shower and use the bathroom. Which would still be hard on your own…” Her hope slightly diminished as her eyes dropped to the sheets. She would never ask Roger to take care of her, especially considering how much taking care of he would have to do with her current state. “Your….” The doctor started, now looking at Roger. “Sally has suffered a lot of damage from the plane crash. But she’s surprisingly strong. A lot of it has healed except for the major things, like two broken ribs, fractured leg. I’d say she’s a lucky one to have survived. If you want to take her home you can, I’ll just have to give you a list of instructions, and prescribe a heavy pain killer for her.”

“I’ll take care of her,” he knew that she would never ask him to do so, “she’s my girlfriend. I’ll take care of her,” he said, absently rubbing the side of her face with his thumb. He didn’t know why she had apologized. Nor did he care, all he heard was that her heart was doing fine. Roger immediately began to worry and panic. He couldn’t lose her. Not his Sally. She had to live a long happy life. Not for him but because she deserved to know what happiness felt like. A man like Roger had always found something to be thankful for, to smile about and be happy about. But Sally had no idea what that was like. She had to pull through if only so she could experience all of that.

I Made it Out For You, Tell Me We're Meant to Be || Salger

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:35:46 -0400

brightbubblymask:

Her eyes were closed, but there was pain, piercing, blinding pain. She could feel the slow, swelling beating of her heart like it was radiating through every muscle in her body. It was clear to her that it was not a normal heart beat. Along with the heart beat in her ears she could hear people walking all around her, but none of them were near her in any sense. She was left alone. Did they give up on her? Was she being left here to die? Sally forced her eyes to open, a pained noise leaving her. “Jane-Doe’s awake!” Someone called all too loudly next to her. “Sweetie, can you tell me your name?” A young nurse leaned over into Sally’s line of view, shining a light in her eyes, which added to the throbbing in her head. “S-S-Sally Carrera.” She breathed, barely able to get it out without pain. How badly had she been hurt in the crash? “Sally? Great, and is there anyone we can call to come take care of you, Sally? A mother? Father? Sister perhaps?” The nurse’s sweet voice seemed louder than it should have, and she wanted to tell her to lower her volume, but it hurt so badly to talk. She shook her head in reply to the question, before forcing more words out of her lungs. “My mother. Has Alzheimer’s. My father. Hates me.” She breathed painfully.

“Are you married then?” The nurse questioned as a great deal more doctors moved to Sally’s beside. Another shake of her head. “Roger.” She choked out, forcing words now. “You can call. Roger.” The nurse nodded and asked if his number was in her cell-phone that had been in her jean pocket during the crash— apparently they’d salvaged it. “Yeah.” Sally sighed, happy that the stream of questions was most likely over for now. Her lungs burned with the forced words. “Sally, I’m not going to ask you to speak any more for a while, but I’m going to tell you the damage that has been caused, okay?” Another doctor told her, she assumed he was the attending on her case, rather happy in this moment that she knew about medicine. She nodded in reply to his words. “Okay, you have two broken ribs, one of which punctured your lung pretty badly, that’s why it hurts to breath, and even to talk. Your heart had a small hole in it, and is still being monitored, because we weren’t able to fix it completely. Your left leg is fractured pretty badly, and it’s amazing that it’s not actually broken. Along with that there was severe internal damage that we managed to fix, some major tearing in your stomach and intestines and you have a mild concussion.” There was so much going on with her, so much more than she realized. Sally was all too aware that with all the damage, she should have died. Especially with the tear in her heart.

“We’re taking good care of you, though. Promise.” He offered a smile before checking the machines around her and disappearing to do other work. The nurse came back then, a soft smile on her face as she brushed a piece of hair from Sally’s face. She was only mildly aware that it must be tattered and soaked with blood and dirt. “I got a hold of Roger, I didn’t tell him the details, I just told him that he should be here for you. I think he’s on his way.” The idea that Roger would be there soon soothed her. He was all she needed.

It had been a pretty uneventful day. Roger had decided to call in sick and spend the day with Eisenhower as they watched something about Hitler on TV. They were waiting for Sally to come by or call or text. His life now was usually spent around Sally or waiting for her. Because she was engraved in his heart and never quite left his mind. All the music he wrote came out sounding like the piece he had written for her. But they were never as good. Nothing that was good enough for him to play for her. That was when his phone went off. It wasn’t a number he knew but Roger answered it anyways. “Hello?”

It didn’t take long for him to understand what was going on. As soo as he hung up the phone, he was out the door with Eisenhower on his heels and racing towrads the hospital. Throwing the door open, Roger ran through the hallways, looking for Sally in one of them. Then there she was. His Sally was hurt and she looked so tired and helpless. Going to stand by her, Roger leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Hey, everything’s going to be okay,” he whispered to her, smoothing her hair away from her face, “I’m here now…with Eisenhower. But I’m here.”

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Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:22:36 -0400

Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to get rid of a...

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:22:16 -0400

Every surgeon has a shadow. And the only way to get rid of a shadow, is to turn off the light. To stop running from the darkness, and face what you fear. Head on.

Derek?!

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:21:59 -0400

Derek?!

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Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:10:54 -0400

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Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:10:36 -0400

doctorgrey-shepherd: MEREDITH AND DEREK SCENES PER...

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:10:14 -0400

doctorgrey-shepherd:

MEREDITH AND DEREK SCENES PER EPISODE

»1.02. “ The First Cut Is The Deepest “

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here’s what I know. If you’re willing to throw caution to the wind and take a chance, the view from the other side… is spectacular.

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Mon, 11 Jun 2012 17:09:52 -0400

I Wanna Go Out With You || Salger

Tue, 29 May 2012 19:54:14 -0400

brightbubblymask:

Sally took a step towards the front door but stopped before she could get any further as he began to talk. She turned to face him again, hugging her clothes to her torso as she listened to him. They had lived such similar lives— a crappy type of life that Sally would never wish upon anyone. She’d felt almost all the pain that Roger had, and her heart ached for him. A man with such kind eyes, and a warm smile like him should never have been put through all of that. She listened with such intensity that she thought she might drop everything and throw her arms around him in a powerful embrace right then and there. But she stayed planted where she was, chewing on her bottom lips lightly and processing everything and taking slow, deep breaths. As he mentioned his previous engagement, a feeling that she believed to be jealousy of the woman reared its head inside her. Sally had never been jealous of anyone really, and she was sure she had no right to be jealous of the woman previously engaged to the wonderful man in front of her. I never once felt the way about her that I do with you. The words played over and over in her head after they left Roger’s lips. Sally was only slightly aware that he had stopped talking, and she was standing there silently as the words continued to run through her head. The only response that came to mine were three simple words, but she wouldn’t let them leave her lips. Not yet.

“I..” She breathed, all too aware now that she was taking far too long to reply. She was at a loss for words even though a thousand were coursing through her mind. Sally abandoned her clothes and closed the space between she and Roger. Her hands wound around to rest at the back of his neck, and she jumped off the theoretical cliff that she had feared all her life. The cliff of initiating intimacy. The cliff of relationships. The cliff of falling in love. Sally shut her eyes and jumped off the cliff. She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss that said everything she couldn’t find the words to say. His lips were soft and warm against hers, and it was weird, actually wanting to kiss him. With Finn she hadn’t even wanted him to hold her hand.

The silence was what he feared. Once again, he had pushed a perfectly wonderful woman away from him with his past. Only once before after ending his engagement with Rachelle did Roger attempt to date and his past was too dark a place for her. So, with that, he stopped trying to date and focused on his music. Not that he wasn’t in the first place. But then in the few minutes he had began to panic inside, Sally washed all that away with the feeling of warmth against his lips caused by the pressure of her own. She was different in the most wonderful way imaginable. Sally was a cool breeze on a hot day with no shade. She was a rain storm in a drought. She was perfect for him and he couldn’t deny the feeling of love he felt for her as he wrapped his arms around her petite waist and kissed her back.

I Wanna Go Out With You || Salger

Tue, 29 May 2012 01:33:46 -0400

brightbubblymask:

Sally couldn’t believe the things she’d done in the past few minutes. She had spilled practically everything about her life to this man. A man that she had barely known for long, yet she loved so desperately. Another thing that she didn’t believe. She loved him so effortlessly, a new sensation to her. Even then she had pulled away the second the words of her past had left her lips. She gathered her clothes, in too much of a hurry to actually change back to them and stared herself down in the mirror for a moment. “You are such an idiot.” She sighed to herself, she’d told Roger about her parents and Howl and Finn. All of it. He probably didn’t want to hear any of it, but she had said it. Sally probably looked freaking crazy in Roger’s eyes now. At least that’s what her mind told her as she stepped out of the bathroom to find him waiting for her. She swallowed the dry patch in her throat as she stood there, knowing another crazy rampage of words was on its way out. “I’m sorry Roger. I didn’t mean to say all of that. I know you probably don’t care, and I’m sorry. I’ll just….go. Yeah. I’ll go.” She nodded, running a hand through her hair.

When the door opened, another apology spilled out her mouth. Rubbing his lips together, Roger prepared to tell her all about his past. The one that not even Rachelle knew about. “My parents were never in love. My father worked too hard and my mother was never around to care for my sister and I. While my mother was pregnant with Anita, my father went out and had an affair with his secretary. I never told my mom or Anita about that,” he paused, sitting down on the bed before continuing, “I was engaged by the time I was twenty and we dated for two years. A good solid amount of time. We were friends much longer than that. Her name was Rachell and all she did was complain about the things I couldn’t do. Dancing was one of them. I got so tired of her complaining that I started not caring and working on my music. But then the day before our wedding, I found her having sex with one of the groomsman and called off the wedding. I didn’t care about her cheating on me, I never once felt the way about her that I do with you.” Roger stood, allowing her to get a better grasp on all that he had just said. Hoping that she wouldn’t leave.

I Wanna Go Out With You || Salger

Tue, 29 May 2012 00:58:51 -0400

brightbubblymask:

George and Jessica had been happy once. They’d been in love at some point in time. But it had fallen apart, so who’s to say it wouldn’t happen to her? Sally inhaled a deep breath that was meant to calm her. To make her realize how stupid she was being. But it did nothing of the sort. All it did, was lead to a mass of rambling. “My parents were this happy once….this content…” She whispered, still holding onto Roger and swaying with him lightly. “Then they had me, and they fell out of love. My father left the night of my birthday. I was three. They had some crazy fight the night before, and then he was gone. My mother stopped caring about me…..stopped caring for me. Not even the nurse that she dumped me with day after day loved me. My father left because of me, my mother resented me, and Emilie hated me.” Her words were slow, she was rambling, but it was a slow,whispered type of rambling. “I waited. For so long I waited. Year after year, birthday after birthday, holiday after holiday. I waited for him to come back. But he never did. My mother barely said three words to me in an entire week. I ran into my father in town, when I was older. Maybe ten years ago….he…..he slapped me.” Her voice cracked softly, but she didn’t stop, her whispered words continued on. She didn’t even know if Roger could hear her, or if he was listening at all.

“And there was Howl, and Finn….” Her heart ached at the mention of them, and her mind shouted at her to stop. She shouldn’t be telling him this, not yet. But God she couldn’t stop herself. “Howl was my first boyfriend, Sophomore year of high school. He forced me into sex. It hurt. It hurt so bad. I know they say that it hurts on the first time, but I don’t think it was supposed to hurt that much.” A soft sob tore out of her and she held onto Roger, still swaying, still rambling. “I didn’t want it….I was….I was dry. With Finn….it was easy, because I didn’t really love him. It was easy to just be with him. But he cheated on me, the week before our wedding. He said he loved her, and that he was calling off the wedding. And that was the day that I had decided that I really did want it. All of it. No one really ever loves me, they just think they do. I’m unlovable or something.” When she returned to the moment, she realized everything that had left her lips in the moment and she pulled away from Roger. As much as she needed his embrace, she knew she had said too much. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…. I should go.” She turned and ran into the bathroom to gather her clothes before she moved towards the door. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Her mind scolded as she moved.

Roger listened to every word Sally was whispering to him. Or maybe she was whispering to herself. He didn’t know. All he knew was that his heart was aching and throbbing for her. Her life was so rough and chaotic that all he wanted to do was smooth over all her rough edges and make everything better. Sally’s life was all too similar to his own. But as he began to softly stroke her hair to calm her, she pulled away in a hush and darted for the bathroom. Roger didn’t know what to do, what to say. The only person he had ever had to comfort was Anita and even she didn’t really need it. Not until about last week when she showed up in Walt with a broken heart. But he moved, his body acted as if it had a mind of its own and he ended up waiting for her by the bathroom door. A look of empathy and love on his face. Mentally, as he waited patiently, Roger prepared to tell her about his own demons.

I Wanna Go Out With You || Salger

Mon, 28 May 2012 00:06:37 -0400

brightbubblymask:

Sally rested her chin on Rogers shoulder, her thumb idly stroking the area of his shoulder that it inhabited. The soothing rocking motion that he moved them in was peaceful, and her mind wandered off to all the things that had once seemed distant to her. The idea of being loved. Spending all day in the house with a great guy. Having cute, corny, cliche moments with a man she loved. Waking up on Holiday’s to a sense of happiness instead of the knowledge that she would once again be disappointed. Marriage and children, and a life that wasn’t all fake smiles and forced laughter. Feeling the three words that she’d never said to anyone romantically come from her lips and know it came from deep within her heart that would now be healed and whole. Having traditions. Curling up on the couch, a crackling fire filling the room with warmth and a beautiful scent as the light went out and a movie played across the screen. The idea of things that Sally hadn’t even known that she wanted. Her smile grew a bit as Roger whispered a song for them to dance to. “I like this song…” She whispered, still swaying gently with him. Another batch of wet pools filled her eyes as the image of her parents being as happy and content as she was now— content without her— flashed before her eyes. Their relationship was new, a baby tree on the first day of spring. Even so, Sally’s heart twisted in her chest at the idea that she and Roger would end up like her parents. Subconsciously Sally held on tighter to Roger, scared to lose their perfect moment.

A smile slowly spread across his aging face. Roger had spent his entire life trying noto to be his father. A man who worked so hard his whole life only to lose the woman he loved and age too young. He loved his parents, he really did. But their marriage wasn’t perfect. Roger wanted something real, something worth living for and something that would last forever. He wanted to die knowing that he lived a good life filled with love and happiness instead of trying and failing. As he swayed them back and forth, Roger began to think that he could do all that with Sally. She was his peace and she was his life of happiness and love. “I’m glad you do,” he paused to whisper.

You and me. It’s not the thrill of the chase. It’s not a game....

Mon, 28 May 2012 00:03:29 -0400

You and me. It’s not the thrill of the chase. It’s not a game. It’s…it’s your tiny ineffectual fists. And your hair. Smells good. And you’re very, very bossy. Keeps me in line.

.

Sun, 27 May 2012 23:55:10 -0400

It's funny...

Sun, 27 May 2012 23:52:45 -0400

these-emptyfairytales:

I guess.

Do you need someone to talk to? I’m sure that Eisenhower won’t mind if you come by. I’m always around.

It's funny...

Sun, 27 May 2012 23:23:31 -0400

these-emptyfairytales:

I’m just learning not everyone is always there for you the way they say their going to be and it kind of really feels like shit.

That’s how we learn. We give trust to people even if we know better and then they throw it away. But that way we know that they’re not worth the effort anymore. We just have to find the strength to walk away and try to find someone that is worth the effort.

I Wanna Go Out With You || Salger

Sun, 27 May 2012 23:19:45 -0400

brightbubblymask:

Sally’s eyes danced across the features on Roger’s face, taking every single part of him in. She looked at his hands and then up to his face once more as he offered his hands to her and asked her to dance. “Dance? Now?” She breathed, the smile still present on her lips. “There’s no music.” Sally mused, but the part of her that had already given into loving Roger took over as her smile grew. Her hands slid into his and she stood up with him, guiding one of his hands to the small of her back and putting her now free hand on his shoulder. Instinctively her head fell back into its spot on his shoulder, the spot where she fit perfect. Sally gave him full control of the ‘dancing’ that he’d elicited, letting herself relax under his touch and give into the love she felt in the very depths of her heart.

He laughed at her remark. There was no music, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t make their own. As she slipped her hand in his, Roger placed his face beside hers as he began to rock them back and forth. He wasn’t that good of a dancer if her was being honest. But that didn’t mean he didn’t try. Sally made him want to try a little harder in life to do the things that he had had on his Bucket List for years. Dancing was one of them. Or at least Ballroom dancing was. Not that he had the coordination for such things. He was an artist who was good with his hands, never light on his feet. It was one of the many things that Rachelle had complained about in the two years they had been together. Slowly, Roger began to whisper the song he knew best in her ear. It was the song that he had loved ever since he spent one summer at his grandparents lake house. “I’ll be seeing you, in all those delightful places.”

It's funny...

Sun, 27 May 2012 23:12:37 -0400

these-emptyfairytales:

Finding out who your real friends are and stuff.

Jewel? What’s wrong?